Love in the age of likes: how social media reshapes relationships in Cameroon 📱💔

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For generations, jealousy was triggered by furtive glances, unexplained delays, or the scent of someone else’s perfume on a collar. Today, the battleground has shifted. Suspicion now unfolds behind glowing phone screens: WhatsApp notifications, read receipts, cryptic Facebook statuses, TikTok “likes.”

In Cameroon’s hyperconnected society, romance no longer escapes the digital gaze. For some couples, social platforms are a bridge. For others, they’ve become minefields—breeding suspicion, jealousy, and, increasingly, breakups.

WhatsApp, the arena of suspicion 📲

In Yaoundé, Chantal, a young woman we interviewed, shared her story:

“I saw my fiancé had locked his WhatsApp chats. To me, that was proof he was hiding something. One night, while he was sleeping, I used his fingerprint to unlock his phone. That’s when I found several ‘baby’ conversations with other women. Since then, I’ve stopped believing in honest relationships.”

Stories like Chantal’s aren’t rare. Screenshots circulate as evidence, statuses are coded—or hidden from certain contacts—as passive-aggressive weapons. A single “online at 2 a.m.” or “seen but not replying” can spark an argument. Entire relationships risk being reduced to chat logs, far from the handwritten love letters of the past.

“Our parents stayed in unhappy marriages because they had no alternatives. Today, if someone doesn’t respect you, you can move on and meet new people through social media. Tech also sets us free,” says Stéphane, a 24-year-old student.

Facebook, the stage of public love 💻

As the dominant platform in Cameroon, Facebook has become a sentimental courtroom. Whether you display your partner in your profile photo—or list yourself as “single”—carries weight.

“I once commented under a friend’s photo: ‘You’re always beautiful.’ The next day, my girlfriend accused me of flirting in public. She posted a long rant about how I disrespected her. We broke up because of Facebook,” says Jean Paul, a driver.

What used to be private now unfolds in front of hundreds of “friends.” Silence online can speak louder than words. To avoid digital pitfalls, some couples simply choose not to connect on the platform.

“My husband and I decided from day one not to be Facebook friends. Everyone has their own online life, but we respect each other. That way, there are no misunderstandings. Our love is real, not virtual,” explains Florence, a shopkeeper.

TikTok, the space of temptation 🎵

With its sensual dances and viral challenges, TikTok has become the most explosive platform for couples. For young Cameroonians, it offers visibility, validation—and sometimes new partners. Others broadcast their couple life as a form of #relationshipgoals content.

“My boyfriend says my videos are too sexy. But when I post a challenge, I can get 50,000 views. He gives me love, but TikTok gives me another kind of value. And sometimes, it’s my followers who flirt with me more seriously than he does,” admits Clarisse, a communication student, who openly embraces this double life online.

Some couples even launch joint TikTok accounts to showcase their relationship. But when each partner runs a solo account, popularity often comes with accountability.

“Many men demand access to their partner’s phones but refuse to give the same in return. Social media exposes power imbalances. It’s not just a couple’s crisis—it’s a crisis of equality,” argues Aline, a feminist activist.

Between control and freedom 🔐

Tech has also armed couples with new surveillance tools: live location sharing, shared passwords, even phone-tracking apps. But instead of building trust, this constant monitoring often deepens suspicion.

“Every night, my wife asks me to show her my phone. I agree just to avoid fights, but honestly, it exhausts me. We live together, yet it feels like she never trusts me,” says Samuel, an IT specialist.

Experts warn that healthy relationships are rooted in trust, not digital oversight. According to relationship psychologist Mireille N., the issue isn’t social media itself but emotional insecurity:

“Cameroonian couples are often fragile because they’re built on unspoken expectations and mistrust. Digital platforms simply amplify this. What used to remain hidden now becomes visible, and what was once tolerable becomes unbearable—because everything is hyper-exposed.”

A mirror of society 🪞

Social media doesn’t create insecurity; it magnifies what’s already there: fear of betrayal, fragile trust, the allure of something new. Yet it also gives rise to new strategies of resistance:

• Some couples choose not to follow each other online to protect intimacy.
• Others set ground rules: no shady likes, no hidden conversations, no snooping through phones.
• Many use digital tools to strengthen bonds: video calls when apart, daily messages, virtual surprises.

Between love and algorithms ❤️‍🔥

Phones have become invisible arbiters of modern love. Every notification can accuse, every silence can condemn. At the same time, they mediate intimacy for a generation that experiences relationships through screens.

In this digital theater, every status is a statement, every pause an accusation, every ping a test. Today’s couples aren’t just fighting external temptations—they’re battling the ghosts of the virtual. Where once the question was “Who is your rival?”, now it’s harsher: “Is your rival a Facebook friend, a hidden WhatsApp number, or a TikTok follower?”

Ultimately, fidelity is no longer measured only in physical betrayal, but in the constancy of a heart that resists the pull of screens. Those who endure this era of likes and notifications will prove that love can still survive—even when the digital universe conspires to test it.

💬 Your turn
How do you navigate trust and jealousy in your relationships in the age of social media and smartphones?